Beating the Orgasm Gap

Not only are women fighting for equal rights and wages, but women also have to fight in bed for equal orgasms! It is true, the orgasm gap is as real as it gets. If you’re wondering what it means, the orgasm gap is the disparity between men and women experiencing orgasms. As a world that has constantly witnessed the male gaze, our culture always prioritises men’s sexual needs. Be it porn or OTT shows, most of them view females from the male gaze, objectifying them and focusing on the man’s sexual needs.

As per a study conducted in the US, 95% of heterosexual men orgasm as opposed to 65% of heterosexual women. And no, the problem doesn’t lie in women because 86% of lesbian women also were experiencing orgasms. The study proves that the orgasm gap does exist and not enough is being done to change that. Studies also prove something women have already known for years – penetrative sex isn’t it. Clitoral stimulation and oral sex are required for a woman to come.

So how can you beat the orgasm gap?

While the orgasm gap is real, the solutions to it are also real and quite easy. There are many ways to go about it and finally get that toe-curling, leg-shaking, mind-blowing orgasm! And honestly, if you cannot orgasm and are happy about it, it’s cool. But if you do want to try it sometime, you can consider the following.

  • Sex talk: The right communication can probably bring around world peace, so a female orgasm is not far away. Communicate what you like, dislike, what works for you and discuss things about sex with your partner, with others and open up the conversations to get the orgasms flowing.
  • Masturbate with your partner: What gets you off when you’re alone will probably also help you come with your partner. And what’s better than a display lesson? Masturbate around your partner so they can learn the tricks that work for you and pick up a few new skills.
  • Take it slow: Unlike what television has led us to believe, women like to take their time. As per studies, women take up to 20 minutes to get there. Foreplay plays an essential part and it’s not wise to skip it. Build the arousal slowly, till women achieve a clitoral erection and their vulva is swollen and plump.
  • Change old habits: Don’t get stuck in a rut of the same positions, similar foreplay, styles and more. Keep it interesting by exploring and experimenting. Whether you are in a relationship or alone, you can mix it up by trying toys, vibrators or massagers, doing it in different places or even roleplay. Just don’t stick to the same routine!
  • Don’t stress out: Relax, really. Holding your breath, being clamped will definitely not help you come. Make sure you are breathing and relaxed, don’t stress over an orgasm as stress can be a kill for your sex drive and take it easy for some fantastic orgasms.
  • Learning Curve: Men and women should not expect to get it right in one go. It takes time to learn about anatomy and it’s best to treat every attempt as a learning curve. Take notes as to what works and what doesn’t, don’t stress out too much and enjoy your time with your partner, regardless of the orgasm.

There’s a clear stigma around women’s sexual desire and talking about it is a strict taboo. As per researchers, this is one of the many societal reasons why the orgasm gap exists. But there is hope to reduce this gap every day as women are coming forward and talking more freely about sex, especially after the advent of social media. With better communication, more attention to women’s sexual desires and frank conversations, we can change the game and beat the gap! But don’t forget that no matter what, safe sex is a must. Always use contraception like Domina, female condoms that are 95% effective against unwanted pregnancies and STIs. Shop today.

Eesha Goenka

Eesha is a writer by the day and a reels addict by the night. Hailing from Kolkata, she's a lover of dark chocolate, adrak wali chai and quaint cafes.

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