Intimate Wellness

Dude, Where’s my Libido?

People often say that men only have one thing on their mind. Well, men do think more and avidly seek more sex than women. We’ve always heard that men have stronger libidos and women’s libido keeps fluctuating. The stereotype is not just true but a proven fact. Men have straightforward libidos whereas for women, sexual desire is sensitive to the environment and context. For women, sex drive often decreases with age. Pregnancy, hormonal changes, increased responsibilities are some reasons why your libido tends to drop as you age.

The most common sexual dysfunction among women is the loss of sex drive, medically known as Hypoactive Sexual Desire Disorder (HSSD). Unlike men, women’s sexuality is multifaceted and complicated. Sexual problems for women are a combination for mental and physical factors.

What kills your sex drive?

Many biological and psychological factors affect your sex drive and dictate whether you enjoy getting it on or simply like to Netflix, and not chill. Because of physiological considerations, sexual urge naturally lowers with age. However, sexual desire includes interpersonal and psychological elements that influence a person’s propensity to engage in sexual activity.

Interpersonal relationship issues like lack of emotional connection, too much stress or peer pressure. Testosterone has an effect on both men and women’s sexual desire. Testosterone levels in women peak in their mid-20s and then gradually diminish until menopause, when they plummet. Mental illnesses like depression, as well as physiological ailments like endometriosis, fibroids, and thyroid abnormalities, have a mental and physical impact on a woman’s sexual drive.

Improving your sex drive

Worry not! If you think your sex drive is lowering, there are many ways to boost it and make it better. Generally, one treatment is not enough and a mix of treatments is required to treat the complicated case of sexual desire. The following treatment options are recommended:

  • Sex Therapy or Counselling: Sexual dysfunction affects not just individuals, but both parties in a relationship and should be discussed with a therapist or professional, together or individually.
  • Changing Medicines: If caused by medications like birth control pills or other medication, changing the medicines or altering the dose after recommending your doctor can help improve your sex drive.
  • Testosterone Therapy: While it is not approved by the FDA, gynaecologists recommend testosterone therapy to improve the levels of testosterone to pre-menopausal levels. For post menopausal women, estrogen creams are also suggested for vaginal dryness.

While age plays a huge part in the sexual lives of all humans, the hormonal change for women varies from their 20s till they hit menopause in their 40s or 50s. Experts say that women are far more fertile in their teens and 20s but their sexual desire goes up when their fertility starts declining in their late 20s.

The sex drive is the strongest for women in their 30s. Studies show that 27-45 is the age at which women’s sex drive it at its peak and these women tend to have more frequent sex. At any age, pregnancy and childbirth impacts women’s sexual life a lot. Not only does it result in hormone changes that can even boost your libido, but also your interest in sex might falter due to other responsibilities.

Studies report that while more women complain of sexual dysfunction and issues, the topic is hardly well-researched. Between 1990-1999, nearly 5,000 studies were published on male sexual function, but there were only 2,000 women’s studies. Research as well as treatment of women’s sexual issues lags behind and continues to be a taboo topic. But this is slowly changing as more detailed studies and research have started taking place, exploring women’s sexuality. Have you faced issues with your libido? Tell us your answers in the comments below.

Eesha Goenka

Eesha is a writer by the day and a reels addict by the night. Hailing from Kolkata, she's a lover of dark chocolate, adrak wali chai and quaint cafes.

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