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Feelings and Emotions During Your First Time Intimacy

Feelings and Emotions During Your First Time Intimacy

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First Time Intimacy

The first time you have sex is going to be an essential milestone in your life. That’s why everyone feels a little uncertain and jittery at the thought of it. First time intimacy comes with a flood of feelings – before and after you have been intimate and even during the act. 

Separating emotions from sex can be a challenge even for those who have been sexually active for a while. As a first-timer, you will need to prepare yourself to face various emotions and be ready to answer the questions that your mind asks you.

Feelings and Emotions to Expect During First Time Intimacy

A 2018 study showed that sex and emotions have an integral link – thanks to the endocrine system and the hormone named Kisspeptin. This study also linked feelings and emotions with reproduction. After all, sex and arousal involve cognitive, physiological, and neurological activities.

It might be surprising for you that most people get similar emotions during sexual activities, thanks to the surge of hormones. However, your feelings might differ depending on your personality, experiences, circumstances, inhibitions, relationship with your partner, and more.      

Expected Positive Emotions when you have sex for the first time

  • Satisfaction
  • Excitement
  • Euphoria
  • Relaxation
  • Intimacy

Not-so-positive emotions associated with first time sex:

  • Nervousness
  • Anxiety
  • Vulnerability
  • Guilt
  • Embarrassment
  • Dysphoria
  • Regret
  • Exhaustion

Multiple physical and hormonal processes lead to a cocktail of emotions clouding your mind and making your heart a little heavy with confusing results. Sexual arousal and intimacy can turn off parts of your brain. You lose your capacity to think and judge. Hence feel embarrassed and sad, along with nervousness and excitement.

Another thing that messes with your head is the surge of oxytocin, which boosts affection, enthusiasm, and euphoria. No wonder everyone calls it the love hormone! Thus, it’s normal for you to feel various ups and downs of emotions and feelings before, during, and after first time intimacy.

Physical Experiences from First Time Sex

Emotions apart, there’s more to expect from your first time intimacy. Most first-timers have three questions to ask – 

  1. Will it be painful?
  2. How will I know if I have orgasmed? 
  3. Will it cause pregnancy or STIs?  

Let’s find the detailed answers to each of these questions. 

a) Can first time sex be painful?

Yes. Your first time could be painful. Mainly because of stress and the fact that it’s your first time, so the confusion could be a lot more than you may think. Secondly, the vaginal muscles tend to tighten due to this and lead to discomfort. To avoid this, make sure you and your partner indulge in enough foreplay before heading to the main act. This will lead to natural vaginal  lubrication, which could make the whole experience more enjoyable and less painful.

b) How will I know I have orgasmed?

Let’s just say, you will DEFINITELY know if you have orgasmed. It will feel as if your body is filling up with a gush of high energy, reaching to it’s peak and then a massive release, where all your senses literally feel numb, but at ease.  That being said, remember that climaxing isn’t the ultimate goal of having sex, especially if it’s your first time. After all, discovering your pleasure points is the most important milestone, so give each other enough time and prioritize pleasure.

c) Can first time sex cause pregnancy or STIs?

If sperm travels to your vagina and ends up fertilizing an egg, you have the chance to get pregnant. This is very much possible during the first time, if you choose to have penetrative sex. Even pre-ejaculation discharge may contain sperm that can impregnate you. You can also contract STIs during your first time if your partner is infected. That is why contraceptive methods like female condoms or male condoms are extremely important, every time you have sex.

Preparing Yourself for First Time Sex

The elementary part of preparing for your first time is choosing the right tools of reproductive and sexual health protection. Both female and male condoms can help keep pregnancy and STIs away. You can also speak to a gynecologist about contraceptive pills, and what to expect during your first time, so that there are no regrets later.

It will also be a good idea to talk to someone experienced and be mentally prepared. Remember that feeling jittery or nervous is standard for all first time experiences. But if you’re in a dilemma and feel unsafe, it’s not the time for you to proceed. Also, acquire a clear idea about consent – because it should be clear and enthusiastic and not half-hearted.

Don’t allow anyone to force you or manipulate consent out of you. You should also remember that you are free to say “no” and “stop” and withdraw your consent – whenever you want. If there’s love and respect, your partner won’t be offended. So take charge of your first time intimacy and enjoy it thoroughly.

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