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Learn to communicate what you want in bed`

Learn to communicate what you want in bed`

What you want in bed

Do you feel intimidated talking about pleasure and sex with your partner? You are not alone. Communication is the key to a healthy and happy relationship, and it matters as much when it comes to sex. If the relationship is going well, why do people hesitate to talk about their pleasure or what they like in bed? More often than not, reluctance stems from nervousness and fear of disapproval. Sex is also a sensitive subject that concerns intimacy, and when things are going great in a relationship, people fear ruining it by asking for more.

Communication can make sex better

In a long-term relationship, sex is sometimes great, sometimes not. Unless you are ready to communicate with your partner, it’s silly to expect them to know everything. The same is true for your partner. Opening up to new ideas and sharing what you want to explore are simple things that can spice up your sex life. Here’s what you can do to communicate what you want in bed

1 – Figure out what you enjoy

There’s a reason why masturbation and sex toys are so popular. You may have your reservations about talking about a full-body massager with your partner, but you need to explore your body to know what you like. A lot of people don’t like talking about sex, but they enjoy the act as much as their partner. While you can still try new things with your partner now and then, knowing your body comes in handy. You can find some amazing massagers and toys to choose from, and solo play is a good point to start.

Pro Tip: Get a good massager which can help you understand your feelings and responses better. You can also try sex toys with your partner to add some extra elements to regular sex.

2 – Maintain a healthy relationship outside the bedroom

If you don’t connect with your partner in your daily life, it can be hard to turn on the heat in the bedroom. Find things that you can do together, and when the relationship is going well, you can discuss sex without feeling uncomfortable. Set time aside in your schedule for intentional dates, unplanned adventures, and everything else that excites either or both of you.

3 – Use gestures, not words

Talking about sex can feel odd, especially if you haven’t done that since the start of your relationship. If you don’t want to use words, try gestures. For example, if your partner is trying to find the clitoris during foreplay, guide them to the exact spot. It is a subtle form of expression that says that you appreciate their efforts and like the experience. Gestures can also make it easy to try new things. Moaning is easily the best way to express that you like the action. Use words like “I love that!” and “That’s so good”, which can push the other person to do better.

Pro Tip: Your partner doesn’t know your body as you do, and you have to take charge – Period. It’s okay to be controlling at times.

5 – Complement & ask your partner

Complaining later rarely helps in the bedroom. The best way to approach a conversation around sex is to share positive feedback. Let your partner know what they have done right to help them focus on the right things. Just like you, your partner probably has fetishes in mind, and you need to ask. The format of your conversation should be positive and encouraging, and you should open up to trying things that the other person may like.

6 – Communicate about orgasm

Women take longer to reach the ultimate high, but let your partner know. Remember that sex is not about compromise, but you don’t want to initiate a negative conversation that can kill the mood. Always share your feelings, your partner will surely know and take steps to maximize your pleasure next time.

7 – Show what you can

Inspiration is never a bad idea for the bedroom. While you may not try everything you have watched in movies or read in erotic novels, it is still a good way to start and communicate. Talk about sexual things you have seen or read somewhere, which should work as cues for your partner. Direct communication is always better, but when you cannot open up right away, erotica can help. With new things, such as BDSM, make the bedroom a safer place, take it slow, and have a few “safe” words.

Sex talk doesn’t have to be awkward or confusing. If you are sure of what you want and don’t mind trying new things, things will improve. You can also consider trying new accessories, like sex toys and discuss mutual masturbation.

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